Getting back into the dating game after a divorce can be tricky. You might find yourself asking things like ‘When should I start dating after a divorce?’ and ‘What’s the first step I should take to get back into dating?’. The truth is, every person grieves the end of a relationship differently, as every breakup is different. A lot of these factors will depend on your specific situation. We are just here to give you a rough guide on how to handle it.
How do I know if i’m ready?
Knowing when you are ready to date again after a divorce is not exactly determined by some sort of quiz. Only you will know when you are ready to date again. A good first indicator will be when you feel like you have dealt with the loss you have suffered. Give yourself time to process what has happened and to remember what it’s like to be independent. Ask yourself what went wrong with your previous relationship and what it is you are looking for from your next. Once you have the answer and feel ready for some company, go for it!
How long should I wait before I start dating?
Again, there is no real written rule about how long to wait. The length of time will depend on the nature of your divorce. Whether you have had time to deal with your own emotions, the level of respect between you and your ex-partner as well as if there are kids involved. For example, if you have been through a messy break-up that involved your significant other cheating, then jumping back into the dating ring might be just what you need to move on and be reminded of your worth.
If however, you and your partner have parted ways on good terms and want to remain friendly, it might be best to give it a few months out of respect. The other thing to consider is if you share children with your ex. Dating someone new may be a big impact on them. So pay attention to whether your kids are ready for it and only introduce a new person when things have progressed to a more serious stage.
Where is a good place to start?
You can read all the advice in the world and feel as ready as ever but let’s be real, taking the first step is scary. Especially if you haven’t flirted or been on a date in a while! A great place to start is an online dating website. You can see what’s out there and get your flirting skills sharpened up, all without the daunting experience of walking up to someone in a bar and trying to strike up a conversation out of thin air. And the best part? All the people on there are looking for love too! These are a pool of people who, just like you, have put their hand up and said ‘i’m ready to date’. Just make sure you find the right dating site to cater to your needs, one like AussieCupid.com.au, SingleParentLove.com or InternationalCupid.com may be a good place to start. Of all the members on these sites, over 20% have indicated they are divorced or separated. That’s thousands of singles who understand your situation and are probably just as nervous about dating as you are!
Should I bring up my divorce with my date?
While it might be tempting to bag out the ex, don’t do it. It’s definitely not a good idea to bring up your divorce on a first date as this could indicate you haven’t dealt with it yet. Sometimes your date may ask why you are single or if you have ever been married. In this case, just be honest and let them know you are divorced but you are excited for the next chapter of your life. Keep it light and vague. There will be time to discuss it further down the track after you have established a connection!
Just remember, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Only date when you feel you are ready, if you go on a date and decide it’s too soon, that’s completely fine. Dating after divorce is different for everyone!
Want to know how to break the ice on a first date? Find out how here.